Otherwise Engaged
by Nova Super
Summary: Set one Christmas during the Black sister's school days. Rodolphus has proposed to Bella and it's come time to tell the family. Being a new recruit to the Dark Army, dealing with hell-driving Druella and sustaining her fresh romance with Rodolphus, Bellatrix could have made one mistake too many. M for dark themes, non-descriptive abuse, lemons... other dark stuff...
1. Fear Is Wasteful Emotion

_So I did get around to writing this. It's Christmas 1967 and all three Black sisters are at school (Bella's fifth year, Andromeda's fourth year, Narcissa's second year). M-Rated for some abuse and lemons and dark stuff. Do hope you all enjoy it, it nearly didn't get published...  
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**Chapter One: Fear Is Wasteful Emotion **_______**  
**__December 1967  
_

"Go fuck yourself, Bella!"

"At least I can fuck myself, you'd have to shove a hippogriff penis up your fanny before you felt anything-!"

"They're gone, Bella..."

The Hogwarts Express was chugging at full speed down the track through bleak English countryside, delivering students back to London for the Christmas holidays. Down our end of the train, Rodolphus and I had met up secretly in the corridor, but a few dumb first years had nearly blown our cover. The thing about me and Rodolphus was that we had a reputation for hating each other's guts. He was the most popular Slytherin boy, I was the eldest Black. Nobody really knew why we spent up so much energy on actively hating each other so much and certainly nobody could predict that a few months later, our engagement would be hot topic at school. My first condition tied to my acceptance of his proposal was that we maintained a private relationship. Of course although Rod wanted to shout it from the castle tops that he'd tamed I, Bellatrix Black into accepting his proposal, he didn't dare to deny me my condition. Though that didn't mean he wasn't constantly protesting about it.

"I don't know why you insist on keeping up this... public image," Rodolphus grumbled, walking down the emptied corridor of the train, back towards me.

"I've told you before, if Druella finds out from someone else before we announce it, there'll be an almighty shit storm headed my way."

"Since when do you care what your mother thinks?"

"I don't... you'll understand when you come to Grimmauld Place for Christmas. Now I've got to go."

"I'll see you soon then," he grinned, dipping in to catch my lips but I turned my head, redirecting him to my cheek. Rodolphus frowned. "Going off the idea of marrying me?"

"What? No..."

"You look preoccupied."

"Big word for you, Lestrange."

"Sometimes I can't tell when you're playing or just trying to piss me off."

A smile crept across my face, "you'll have plenty of time to work that out."

That made Rodolphus grin, he slid one hand down my waist and settled his touch at my stomach. There wasn't much that had the power to unnerve me but that motion did. Whenever he did it I couldn't help feeling he was waiting for the day he could do the same thing once he'd fattened me up with pregnancy. Not likely.

"I look forward to it," he said, holding me with an intense gaze that suggested far more to his words than I knew. I rolled my eyes and extracted myself from his grip, flouncing back to my compartment.

Once back with my sisters, I slumped in the window seat beside Andromeda and occupied myself with watching the landscape whizz by.

"Are you alright, Narcissa?" Andromeda asked, breaking me away from my thoughts.

"Fine," my youngest sister answered, drawing her knees up to her chest and continuing to give all her attention to the world outside.

"What's up with you?" I asked - or rather demanded as I saw Cissy blink back tears.

"Nothing, Bella. I'm fine..."

I sighed in exasperation, taking my wand out of my pocket like it was a chore and pointing it directly at her.

"Bella!" Andromeda yelled, grabbing my hand and trying to wrestle my wand from my grip.

"I was just going to do Legilimens. Gawd Andy!" I shoved Andromeda off the seat and put my wand away.

"Since when have you been learning Legilimens?" Andromeda asked, clearly frustrated as she got up and tried to uncrease her ridiculous muggle clothes.

"Mind your own business," I spat and turned back to Narcissa who seemed not to have noticed any of what had gone on. Resigning on the issue of Cissy being an anti-social dweeb, I spent the rest of the journey reading my book on Wizarding Law - I like to know what rules I'm breaking.

A few hours later, the train pulled into the platform, the three of us shoved our way off the train and onto concrete London terrain. Andromeda was the one who spotted our mother first.

"There she is," she grumbled. I looked in the general direction she had nodded in. Druella wasn't hard to pick out from the crowd. She stood on the platform, tall and skinny and all clad in black velvet robes, pale blue eyes trained on us instantly. Nothing about her had changed in the handful of months since the Summer. That was typically Druella - nothing ever changed, physically or otherwise. At her side Kreacher stood, quivering and awaiting her instruction, the other people at the station gave her a wide radius of space, most knowing her status, others simply not wanting to go near her. I couldn't blame them, if I'd had the choice I wouldn't have gone anywhere near the woman either. We dutifully trudged towards her, Druella clicked her bony fingers at the elf to go and get our luggage.

"Bella, I'm sorry," Narcissa whispered to me just as we approached our mother.

"For what?" I hissed but there was no time to get an answer. I pondered what brainless act Cissy could have performed now.

"Children," Druella's thin lips pulled back into a smile that showed off her teeth, yellowed from too many cigarettes. The witch before me, with all kinds of evil resting at her fingertips stole my attention from querying Narcissa's apology. Andromeda and Narcissa each received a half-hearted embrace from Druella while I, much to my own delight, went ignored from greetings. Steering around my two siblings, Druella moved us away from the station.

"Aunt Walburga's most excited to see you..." she was saying without much enthusiasm, clearly holding back on the verbal abuse until out of ear shot of other families. "Though I'm sure that's largely down to the the fact that she wants to see how much weight you've put on," she said through gritted teeth, clasping Narcissa's shoulder a bit tighter. So perhaps she wasn't planning on holding off... Cissy always bore the brunt of Druella's snide weight comments. While Druella went over the holiday events with false merriment, I wandered along behind, once again picking over my pending engagement to Rodolphus.

I liked him, that much I could say for him. In many ways he was much like myself in way of mind and opinion. But for me, our engagement was an obligation, if it were up to me I wouldn't have bothered to marry at all. I had no intentions of being the stay at home housewife Narcissa would no doubt become. As for Andromeda, she'd unlikely get any suitors at all at the rate she was going. But still I supposed that should I have to marry, Rodolphus would do. He was just a bit too affectionate at times... heck, maybe he was even a bit in love with me but I could live with that. The only hesitation I had, besides the exhausting demand of pure-blood wedding formalities, was that I wished to be free from ties to one man for another. Both myself and Rodolphus had joined the growing list of the Dark Lord's followers just before the previous Summer and I admit that maybe I'd grown just a little smitten.

I wasn't completely blind though. After seeing Rodolphus there several times, a mutated sort of... alliance if not friendship formed between us and that was how the secret evening visits to the Potions Class began. I shouldn't have been surprised when he proposed, but I was. And now it had ended me up with a job and a half keeping things concealed from Druella. I knew Rodolphus only wanted people to know so he could show off about it. Before I earnt myself a reputation my list of suitors was horrific, Druella couldn't have been more thrilled at my man attracting skills - even if I was only 11. But then I began living like I was a Venus Fly Trap and the list gradually dwindled to the point that lesbian rumors sparked. That didn't last long though, anyone in the same room as me that so much as muttered 'dyke' got boils on their face for a week. Back to the point, my reasons for keeping my mother in the dark were utterly justified. If Druella knew, everybody knew and I, understandably, was still uncertain on my decision so while I had still said 'yes', I required more time to be sure.

Once we had disapparated to Grimmauld Place, we were met with Walburga at the bottom of the stairs. A clear relation to my father, Cygnus, she had the same straight, jet black hair and square-cut features and short stature. Much of which I had inherited. But to my silent disgust, Aunt Wack-burger looked far too happy to see Narcissa was a bit too healthy to pass off as anorexic as mother had wished.

"I'm going upstairs to unpack," I excused myself, trudging up the stairs of my Aunt's house to my usual bedroom. My trunk had been left on my bed for me, I went straight over to it and threw open the lid, pulling out clothes and organising them on the bed. A knock on the door somewhat startled me from my work, Andromeda and Narcissa tended not to bother me during unpacking so I hadn't expected to be disturbed for a few hours.

"Come in," I called, turning back to boredly folding clothes. I heard the door open and close and when I turned around Druella stood in front of the bedroom door with a regal sort of presence. I was unsure quite how to react, Druella never went in my room, at home or otherwise. Unfreezing myself, I carried on putting things away into the small wardrobe in the corner of the room.

"How has school been?"

"Alright," I replied, somewhat suspicious of her sudden interest in my studies. I turned around to get something else off the bed to find my mother perched on it.

"Nothing particularly interesting happen while you were away?"

"No..." I put a dress on a hanger and put it away.

"Are you sure about that, Bellatrix?" I knew exactly what she was driving at and I knew exactly how she had found out. I was going to blast Narcissa into the next life for this.

"_Quite sure._"

I turned around and froze. Druella stood, wand unsheathed and trained on me. I raised an eyebrow and folded my arms.

"I think you do have something to share," Druella said in a near-whisper, pacing across the room til she stood close enough for me to smell the tobacco on her breath. "And you know you've been wrong to keep it from me."

I narrowed my eyes at her, completely unfazed by her threatening behaviour. Threat and violence always came second-nature when we, mother and daughter, spent our quality time.

"I don't have anything to say to you," I replied quite matter-of-factly. Like I gave shit if she bust me up or not.

"You're marrying the Lestrange boy and you didn't so much as tell me!" She screeched with such volume I might have jumped had she not sent me onto the floor with a back-hander to my face.

"Resulting to muggle abuse now mother?" I taunted, somewhat amused by her weak will to cave so quickly. "Well that's a whole new low for you. Or is it?"

Druella breathed laboriously, her chest rising and falling heavily as she trained her wand on me again.

"You knew what he was doing to me and you could have spared it," for a moment I believed she might have cried had I not found such hilarity in the way she'd conducted her confrontation. I laughed at her, still on my knees and cheek burning pink, I howled in my amusement. Something about desperation just sets me off you see, and with Druella it's particularly hard to stop...

My mother dropped her wand, the sound of it clattering on the wooden floorboards was the last thing I heard before my punishment began.


	2. Learning How To Die

_Ta to those who reviewed chapter one, here comes chapter 2! I have a fair bit on at the moment so who knows when chapter 3 will be up. Anyway, thank you Elora Lestrange for Beta-ing for me. I hope you enjoy...  
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**Chapter Two: Learning How To Die **_______**  
**__16th December 1967  
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The stupid bitch had left me there unhealed, incapable of moving and covered in my own blood. The curtains in my room hung open, giving me a view of the stars and a half moon and a little light from the street lamps outside. If I had tried I could have gotten onto my bed but I wasn't ready for that yet. If I moved the temporary numbness that had set in around my bones would lift and I was in no state to confront the damage done just yet. Besides, I'd gotten comfortable on the floor.

I heard the door hinges squeak, the door handle rattle, footsteps a few feet from where I lay. The door swung shut.

"Back for more?" I croaked, assuming Druella had finally come back to offer unsympathetic healing aid.

"Don't you know it, darlin'?" A gruff voice surprised me, I rolled myself onto my back, pain immediately striking up my spine and making my head feel dizzy. To my horror, my father stood above me, a dumb grin on his face that told me he was pissed out of his skull.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I rasped, wincing as my battered ribs began to throb. Slowly every part of my body was setting on fire with renewed pain and aching and I hated the way it physically bound me to the floor, making me incompetent of protecting myself. My heart had begun to rocket from the moment I heard Cygnus' voice, something told me that night would not just be another smacking around. One of his hands clutched the neckline of my dress, the other grabbed a bruised ankle, he hauled me from my resting place and unceremoniously dumped me on my bed. So he wasn't that drunk then.

The searing agony I felt in every nerve ending in my body was not unknown to me, but it didn't mean it hurt any less. Hot raw burning shot up my spine and made me seize up. And that, I admit, was when the tears started to roll down my cheeks faster than I could contain them. Cygnus was above me in an instant, blocking my view of the window. I wanted to see the stars, I wanted to see them burning brightly against an inky black sky, I wanted to be taken miles and miles from the room where I lay in wrenching physical agony but I couldn't. And in exhaustion I realised that I couldn't very well go down without a fight either. Simply not in a Black's character, is it?

His stench was a mixture of fire whisky and vile men's cologne, his touch was boiling hot despite the cold evening air and he was wet with sticky sweat. Every putrid breath that hit my skin signified one less second of that night that I would have to endure.

"It's time for your wedding present, Bellatrix," he whispered in my ear, I cringed away from the sound of his voice. "You don't know how long I've wanted to give this to you."

"Get off me," I growled with as much strength as I could, clearly my father thought my attempt amusing because he'd begun to laugh. Irony, irony. "Get off me!" I screamed.

"Quiet Bellatrix," he demanded. I could hear tearing and I realised he was ripping the bottom of my dress apart.

"Filthy bastard," I gasped, I tried to hammer on his chest but my arms were lifeless, my body was shutting down but my mind was registering everything as clearly as ever. Cygnus was unzipping his trousers.

"Shh," his tone was meant to soothe, I could feel the bile rising in my throat. It's not like this was exactly a first either. My father often liked to pay me bed time visits when I was home from school but on those occasions I was ready for an educational lesson on meeting men's needs. However that was before I'd had real sex. That's the other thing about Rodolphus... he'd incredibly good at sex.

But quite suddenly as Cygnus was freeing himself from his trousers, his weight was off me. The feel of his hands roaming all over me gone, only the tingling sensation that made me shiver remained, the scent he brought with him diluted. My head pulsed with every heartbeat.

"Forgive me..."

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The next day I found myself sat down at breakfast like I'd been moving in a dream. When I say dream, I mean nightmare. I don't know that I can remember ever having a dream without screaming. I was yet to decide if the night before had been a nightmare but something about the way Druella looked at me that morning told me it was real. Though who had asked my forgiveness in those dwindling last seconds of my consciousness I don't know. Somehow I didn't think it was my mother. I had woken up completely healed, save a few scars looking gaudy against the pale skin of my arms and legs, I suspected I'd soon discover more if I looked.

Druella perched against a counter top, both hands occupying a mug - probably newt tea, that was all she ever drank. She looked particularly frail that morning and I wasn't the only one to notice, everyone at the kitchen table looked subdued. Even after a battering from Cygnus, Druella never looked frail, her scars were her pride - she accepted his treatment, she knew how to survive. Narcissa whimpered yet another apology at me. I'd been ignoring her so far but my patience was wearing thin. I grinned at her and she sat, perplexed as she puppy-dog eyed me.

"Dear Narcissa, what in this terrible world do you have to apologise for?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow as she shuffled uncomfortably in her seat. My expression was unsettling her. Without breaking my stare from her, I shoveled up a spoonful of porridge, pulled back the laden spoon head and catapulted the murky brown substance straight in her face. Nobody said a thing.

Druella's pale blue gaze was still on me when Narcissa ran from the table to go and cry for her sins. I looked back at her with disinterest, she sucked in a deep breath, put down her tea and went out of the room, failing in the usual queenly prowess I'd been brought up to copy. I left Andy, twat (Sirius) and prat (Regulus) at the table and went upstairs to my room. It seemed the only way I was going to survive the rest of Christmas was to put myself in solitary confinement and use the time studiously. And however boring reading could prove, I wanted to impress the Dark Lord with knowledge as well as duelling skill. Particularly as Grimmauld Place didn't allow much room for practising Dark Arts, I settled on reading up on them.

Days later and I was keeping up the routine. I only bothered to appear at mealtimes and spent the rest of my day reading up on Dark Arts history, writing notes, masturbating when I felt like it, blasting music or occasionally I'd go into Cissy's room and spend some time levitating her porcelain dolls. I occupied three days with the same activities, barely sparing much time to mull over Rodolphus. There was no way to back out now, I regularly heard Wack-burger and Druella on about wedding preparations during dinner talk. And then finally on December 20th, everything became clear when we received our annual intervention from double-act: Bergella. And let Merlin help us...

"Sirius, talk to no one about Gryffindor pride-"

"Go go Gay-fag-whore," I added for Aunt W who had started on the lectures of dos and don'ts.

"Regulus, stop picking your nose in public and if you wouldn't mind urinating inside the toilet bowl for once that would helpful."

Walburga looked to Druella, consenting her turn.

"Now listen here you three," Druella seethed, taking a far more menacing approach with we three ladies. "Any misbehaving you'll pay dearly."

She paused with her accusing finger on me a moment too long. I rolled my eyes - so much unnecessary drama.

"When do they arrive?" Narcissa asked.

"Tomorrow at noon," Druella replied crisply. "All at once."

"O Joyous Day," I grumbled with fake merriment.

"Narcissa, you will be on specific food portions the rest of the holidays. Andromeda you will stop wearing those frumpy muggle clothes while in this house. And all three of you will be moving into the same room as we have more guests than usual this year."

That announcement earned a unanimous groan. I had decided I'd had quite enough of the rules and regulations and was about to flounce off upstairs.

"And Bellatrix-" I turned with a raised brow, arms folded. Druella too had crossed her arms with a sterner-than-usual look on her face. "You will announce your engagement tomorrow night."

"Like fuck I will."

"I am telling you you will. There is no option."

"With you there's always an option," I said quite calmly. "Do what you say or get battered like a fish."

Narcissa emitted a giggle at the fish thing but quickly quieted when Druella turned her attention to her.

"I think I'll be a fish, mother," I stole the focus again.

"You will both announce it after dinner tomorrow night or you will have a January wedding and you will not go back to that school again."

I narrowed my eyes at her and sighed. Arguing the toss could be so boring. "Rodolphus can do the talking," I muttered.

"Well then," Druella said with her usual enthusiasm, clapping her hands together. "You three can go and organise yourselves in Andromeda's room, there are two more beds in there."

"_Where?_" Narcissa asked. Andy always had the box room at Grimmauld Place. I suspected Druella had grown a three-tier bunk bed with a little aisle of space down the side between the wardrobe and the beds to get in and out. Whoever got the top bunk would be squished against the ceiling.

"You'll see. You are dismissed."

With that we traipsed upstairs to find that my sleeping arrangement theory was incorrect. The wardrobe was lying down on the floor in the middle of the room while the ceiling seemed much lower than usual. All three beds had been lined up together and levitated, taking up the full width of the room.

"The hell?" Andy muttered, ducking slightly to go and look in the wardrobe. "You'd think with all the rooms in this house there'd be enough for us to have a decent sized one."

"Perhaps mother's trying to punish us?" Cissy suggested meekly.

"It won't work," I decided, drawing out my wand.

"Bella don't you dare," Andromeda stared at me from a few feet away. I smiled and waved my wand at the beds, Andy jumped into the wardrobe just in time as all three beds came down together with an almighty bang and a lot of dust.

"Get me out of here, you idiot!" Andromeda's muffled voice came from the wardrobe. One of the beds had landed right on top of it while the other two had landed either side.

"Bella you didn't have to do that to Andy," Narcissa scowled.

"Whatever, I'm bored. Let's go find Moonbeam and see if he's up for some cat-football."

"You leave Moonbeam alone. He craps loads after you've kicked him around."

"Get me out of here!" Andromeda yelled. I sighed and waved my wand, flipping the bed to the side so that it landed roughly on top of another one. Andy emerged looking red and flustered. She knew better than to argue with me and simply exited the room to stand near the doorway with us.

"Where will we put our stuff? There's no room," Cissy grumbled.

"Levitate it to the ceiling?" Andy offered.

"Na... we'll stand the beds up at the wall during the day-"

"But that'll block the window, it'll be pitch black in here," Andy reasoned. I growled.

"We have one bunk bed and a single bed, that'll leave floor space for our shit. And we get rid of the wardrobe."

"Where will we put it?" Cissy seemed more intrigued now.

"Out here in the hallway - in front of our door. I'll make a hole in the back of it so we can climb through it."

"But there are bookcases all along this hallway. How will we know which one is the door to the room?" Andromeda seemed determined to undermine every idea I had. I suppose she was still feeling snobby about the dropping a bed on her thing.

"Duh? Look for a wardrobe not a bookcase."

* * *

The Lestrange family arrived with the rest of the invited guests and relatives as Druella had foretold. Reluctantly I went downstairs to pay homage to our close and distant blood family as they came in through the fireplace and front door in their flocks. Few of them bothered to say anything to me which suited me just fine.

"Ah, Bellatrix," mumbled old crack-pot Uncle Alphard.

"Alright, Uncle A," I failed enthusiasm. His favouritism always lay with Sirius.

Another burst of green and the Lestrange family began filing through. Rabstan came first, followed by Rod and then their father.

"Mr Lestrange, it's a pleasure to accommodate your family this year," Wack-burger greeted the slightly senior gentleman. He was stick thin with permanently hunched shoulders and already he was scanning the crowd of people. His eyes wandered over me and then drew back to me, holding my gaze and seeming to have decided something, he smiled. My lips quirked a little in jest. Clearly I'd just been identified: eldest son's love interest.

Rodolphus gave me one of those lop-sided goofy grins as Druella began straight-out quizzing him the second they'd been introduced. Deciding to skulk off to distract myself from thinking about how all this would be repeated again in a matter of months for an entirely different event, I went back off upstairs to do anything but think of my impending nuptials.

I won't say it didn't bother me, because it did. Not minutes before I'd found solace in the box room, the great reminder of my marriage to Rodolphus intruded in on my space. And it was just that person: Rodolphus. He knocked on the door thrice and opened it.

"Hey," he smiled.

"How'd you find me?"

"Your sister told me which wardrobe to open."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Narcissa."

"No..." he said carefully, edging a little further into the room and closing the door behind himself. "Andromeda."

"What was she talking to you for?" I asked boredly, no real care for the answer. But the answer would be what later bothered me.

"It doesn't matter... Bella, are you ok?"

"Of course I am! Why shouldn't I be? I'm spending a delightful Christmas with my nearest and dearest, my sisters bother me not in the slightest, Druella's my best buddy and I get to marry the greatest goon of the pure blood race - what's to not be ok about?" He looked hurt at that. For once I felt bad. "Rod, I didn't mean-"

"It's ok - really. I understand you don't often say what you mean," he seemed to have recovered. Rodolphus was practising the art of tact, something I didn't know he would later rely on in our marriage... "Andromeda said you've not been yourself."

"I'm never myself, there's more than one of me."

"Seriously Bella."

"Seriously Rodolphus," I mimicked. "Do you know... what really pisses me off about this house is that it's small enough to make sure there's not a moment alone and it's big enough to allude you otherwise... My fucking mother has been on my tits since I got here - Wack-burger's no better and now they've shoved us all together in here - and has she told you we're announcing our engagement tonight!? We've got no say in it ourselves! It's us that's getting married, why can't we decide when we do it? It's not sodding fair, I hate it. I fucking hate them! Soon as I'm free I'm not coming back to Grimmauld Place - ever. Druella's always been trying to tame me into her control but I won't have it. Look how shit her life is and she accepts it. She lives like she's waiting for death - I won't live like that, I'm gonna bloody do something. I'm gonna... Well I'm not gonna sit here and be taught how to die."

He looked at me, I breathed heavily, somewhat out of breath.

"You done now babe?"

"Yeah," I said with a heavy sigh.


End file.
